Wishing to keep forward again, in 2013

Am I reaching the completeness of sin? 
Straddling the borderline of the vow I made, commiting the same mistakes and being in a honestly deliberate unconsciousness am I. 
Future me will require the past's me to be given up. 

October Magic

I humbly beg your pardon.

I was like a child so that I only tried to see what I wanted to. That I only tried to feel what I wanted to.
That I only tried to build what I wanted to. That I only tried to go with you what I wanted to.
There was more than that. Something unfigured, something unsure, something undefined.
Yes multiple 'something's have been existed.

You frustrated when I questioned. You wanted Trust including no question within us.
I brought up my culture. I brought up my knowledge and definition to you.
I must be a faithless person.
You will laugh or will not laugh at the fact that I often ask my Lord.
I must be a faithless person.

Since depth and width of your world is too deep and wide, I can't walk along with you.
I have no breath left.

I almost forgot you for the past months.
Is there October Magic in the world?
As October comes, I feel like being surrounded by the prison bar.
Freedom of my heart is ripped off.
You smile at me over there, just over there, but I can't touch you...
You look fine, but I can't talk to you...

As November comes, the magic will vanish away.
Then I will forget you again.
Complete extinction of October Magic will have two meanings.
But neither of them am I willing to see its coming.

No, no.
I am again about to build my culture here.
Before expecting what will come, something has to be done.
Another 'something' should be added to multiple somethings.

Oh Lord, forgive me please.
I know what I have done wrong.
I will obey the time you decide.

Sad June ...

I hope that something I can't tell people should not happen to me again....


She left me leaving unspeakable pain ... You did much to me.
Your selfish farewell will always stay in my mind till the end. 

May God bless us to meet again in the Heaven.
At that time, with my family.

Best Present for MySelf

would be the Best Place where my talents are best unfolded.

Finding what I am interested in, good at and my passion can truly be devoted to would depend on my effort.
Else, WHERE I am Positioned would depend upon my Supervisor, My Lord.

Frustration comes from the channels get me through to the very point as well as the lack of my talents.

I have not been fully utilized. That's not just unlucky but frastrating I would say.

In every prayer, He tells me "You need to work hard more. Your effort have not reached yet."

Holding His Voice tight, I am going to go my way again departing from the current position.
I hope my passion keeps going on and being accompanied with practice.